This weekend, with the arrival of the third Sunday in June, we celebrate Fathers' Day - an opportunity to express appreciation and admiration to the men in our lives who fathered us, both biological fathers and surrogates or other father-figures. While the range of experiences that people have had, or not had, with fathers that have been there, not been there, filled in for absent fathers or those that have passed away, the reality is that few people are truly indifferent to what is celebrated on Fathers' Day. Fathers are just that important. Present or absent, the impact of fathers is very real nonetheless.
While much could and has been said on the role of fathers I'll touch on one in particular following the break.
One of the things I strongly associate with fatherhood is the idea of likeness. When it comes to my dad and me the phrase "like father, like son" is not far off in many ways. We look alike. We sound and talk very similarly (you may have a hard time telling us apart over the phone). Our handwriting is similar (despite him being right-handed and me left-handed). We have a similar sense of humor. We both are pretty good with numbers (that actually goes back to my granddad, who calculates his final bill at the grocery store mentally before the cashier has finished ringing up his stuff). We both use similar words and phrases (I was saying "howdy" much like him long before I moved to Texas - Aggies don't have the exclusive use of that greeting).
And because I have tremendous amounts of respect and admiration for my dad - who he is and all that he has done and accomplished, it gives me great delight to see ways that I am similar to him, especially as I have grown up and more of these similarities have come to light. To be sure, we are distinct and unique people and I have picked up traits from my mother as well. But there is a likeness, a similarity between my dad and me that cannot be denied, and makes me more than happy to sign my name with the suffix "III" attached to the end - there is a legacy there that I am proud of.
But I think for the very same reason that I appreciate Fathers' Day it can also be a time of frustration, regret, and even anger for others. While I look to the ways that I am similar to my dad and have appreciation for him and what he has meant for me, where a father is not respected or appreciated even benign similarities (appearance, way of walking/talking, mannerisms, etc.) are ever-present reminders of that relationship and the grief and sorrow that it has caused. When similarities carry over to behaviors, attitudes, and poor choices it becomes all the more devastating and "like father, like son," rather than a celebration, becomes an accusation, one that often wounds deeply. In some cases strife is also caused in a father-child relationship when the similarities aren't there. Expectations aren't met, desires aren't fulfilled, and disappointment can be present for both the father and child.
But for all that is wrapped up in the similarities that we have with our earthly fathers, and the joy or frustration that can be caused by that, hope can be found when we consider that ultimately those similarities can point us to the fact that we have similarities with God, who is always good. Consider this: Genesis 5:3 speaks of Adam having a son, Seth, who was "in his own likeness, after his image." Genesis 1:26 speaks of God creating mankind "in our image, after our likeness," using the same words used in Gen. 5:3 to speak of Adam and Seth. While there isn't space to go into the ways that people are or aren't like God as we are made in His likeness/image, just this connection between Gen. 1:26 and Gen. 5:3 is perhaps instructive. Much like we are similar to our parents, there are ways that we have been made similar to God. So as God is good and right, there is a way in which we have also been made with a capacity for the same, even if that has been marred by the presence of sin in the world and in our lives.
I don't know about you though, but because of my persistent sin nature I don't always act in ways that resemble or reflect similarities to God. God is loving but very often I am not loving. God is patient and I want things right now. God is gracious and I want people's driver's licenses revoked (if you drive in Houston you understand!). Name an attribute of God that can be mirrored in the actions of people and I do not always reflect it very well, if at all at times.
But here's where I have some hope, stemming from the idea of likeness. When I was born, there were already some similarities between my dad and me, but not all of them were very easily discerned. How can I talk like him if I am not talking yet? But as I have grown and as I have matured, as I have spent time with my dad, been around him and seen him model behaviors, actions, ways of speaking, etc., more and more I have come to resemble him in a variety of ways. Now, ... years later there are a lot more ways that I resemble my dad than I did when I was new as his son.
This idea, combined with 1 John 3:1-2 gives me hope even as I don't always resemble my Heavenly Father right now.
See what kind of love the Father has given to us [believers], that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.
I don't perfectly reflect or resemble God now. But just as I have grown to more and more resemble my dad over the years, I have hope and confidence that as I grow and mature through spending time with God and in His Word that I will ultimately more and more resemble Him, that is, I will resemble Jesus, the fullness of God in man. Walk like Him, talk like Him, love like Him, serve like Him, live like Him, die like Him. And one day I will see God as He is and will be like Him, and what a joy that will be! So while there are ways that right now I may show some similarities, albeit imperfectly now, this is a process of becoming like my Heavenly Father, with the hopeful expectation that one day I will see Him and be like Him.
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